The Housewarming Drama

Hi my dolls!! I am currently writing this as “Priscilla” by Sofia Coppola is playing in the background (I've seen the movie before). Tomorrow, omg, I didn’t realize it’s already tomorrow, the new “Marie Antoinette” documentary on the making of the movie by Coppola will be added to MUBI!! And I. Can’t. Wait!!!! Anyways, I thought I’d yap a little until dinner.

The original plan

So, almost two weeks ago, I held a housewarming together with my roommate in our new apartment. The housewarming itself went great! It’s just that the planning was a big, and I mean, big drama. Let me get into it.

When we first planned the whole thing, my roommate proposed we’d start it at 8.30pm and end it by midnight. Keep this in mind. That She, I repeat; She proposed that timeframe. Which I thought was a good plan! Because my school hours, since I study film, are very long and intense (leaving the house at 9am and coming home around 6.30pm).

Some time goes by, we make a groupchat on Instagram with all the people that are invited, and we send the info. My roommate sent the message with all the right info. All the right info except the finishing time, only the start time. Which I didn’t even think much of at that time. But later I realized that my roommate very intentionally did that.

Suspicions arise

Three days before the housewarming, on Friday evening, while I’m waiting for my super delayed train with classmates, I get a message from my roommate:“You know, since there are a decent amount of people coming to the housewarming, maybe we should make the end hour later than midnight?”

I had a little trouble with that. Mostly because she sent it so late, and because she knew that I had very important and long lessons that week. That’s also what I answered, but she kept on insisting, and even told me that she thought it was “kinda lame” if we didn’t change it to a later hour. I understood her, because she is a people pleaser, and also really cares about what other people think of her. But she did have to realize that I care more about school than fitting in and what other people think. So, after discussing it with my classmates that were with me, standing in the super crowded train, I proposed we’d go until 1am. Which was an hour later than we first planned, but also the absolute furthest that I could stretch to when it came to the end time. She had some trouble with that proposal, but eventually was okay with it. Until...

My roommate sent me a message about sending a reminder message into the groupchat about the party. She wrote the thing and asked if I was ok with the message. The message said something like: “Hi!! Reminder that Monday evening is the housewarming! The address is xyz! We’re excited to see you guys there! Ps: Bring extra booze!!” 

Booze, Booze, Booze!!

I was okay with the whole message except for the “extra booze” part. Because we had discussed that it was important for people to know it wasn’t a crazy houseparty, it was a housewarming. Therefore, I proposed that we’d change it to something that didn’t sound so much like a necessity, because we had planned to buy enough alcohol for everyone. She read my message, did not respond, and just sent out the original message without my suggestion right into the groupchat??!!! 

I don’t get mad very easily, so I was just (to her) like “It's a bummer that you just sent that message out of the blue. If my suggestion was stupid or silly, and you thought that people would understand that it's not a party but a housewarming, you could have just said so!! :) Because now, just forwarding that message to the group chat without any response to my suggestion at all? I think that's a little weird, you know?”. She did not even open the groupchat. Ofcourse I thought that was a little weird. Then, on Sunday, I came to the realization that the end time (1am) was never mentioned in the groupchat. So people did not know that there was an end time for the party. That’s when I did something that felt very out of my own nature, but it had to be done.

The drama begins

She wasn’t answering my messages, nor opening them. Since I was a little suspicious about why she had never mentioned the end time to her friends, I asked her what she was planning to do after the housewarming was done (like going to a cafe or something), so I could also propose that idea to my friends, and they could go together after the housewarming was done. She wasn’t answering those messages either. So I took matters into my own hands and was like “Oh, by the way, since we forgot to mention the end time of the housewarming in the groupchat, I’ll send a message right now!!” It felt a little sneaky, but it had to be done, because I knew she wouldn’t do it. Even though we had an agreement.

And then!! Like 5 minutes after I had sent the message into the groupchat, suddenly she was all active and online again!!

“Look, I'm actually starting to find this a little annoying. It's taking away all the spontaneity of the party—and the fun for me. I don't feel like doing this anymore. We'll see what happens. We'll talk about it tonight at our apartment” is what she sent to me. And I was flabbergasted. 

Me during this whole discussion

I said that I thought it would be a bummer if we’d cancel the housewarming, and that I would not change my mind about the (already extended) time when we would talk about it in person. Then she said she wasn't going to change her mind either and that she thought I wasn't compromising enough. I did not agree with that, cause two days earlier I literally extended the time to a later hour???

Then I told her about my worries and distrust that I had in that she would let the housewarming go on longer than our agreed time, and that I'd be on my own if we had to start sending people away. Resulting in a lot of stress that I really couldn't handle right before such an intense schoolweek. Then, as a defense, my roommate started making lots of assumptions about my school motivation and said that “Since you didn't go to school two days a week ago, I thought you wouldn't mind skipping school the day after the housewarming either”. But that was such a weird assumption to make because first of all, I had a migraine?? So I literally couldn’t go to my classes?? And second of all, even if I skipped my classes at some point, that doesn't mean that I wanted to skip them again?? 

In this situation, I even made it clear multiple times that my classes that week were pretty important, so it was lowkey just a lame excuse of hers (a fallacy, if I may) to try to get me to change my mind. She also said that she had spoken to her parents, her colleagues, her friends, and even her hairdresser about the situation, and that: “They all thought it's weird for a housewarming to end so early”. 

But like, honey, you came up with the timeframe in the first place?? So you’re just saying this and changing your mind about the whole thing because other people have a certain opinion about this, not because you had this opinion all along. So unfortunately, we are not changing these times (is what I was thinking at that point), and she needed to get over it.

The confrontation

When it became evening, I didn't even know if I still wanted to go to my apartment (I go to my parents on the weekends and go back on Sunday evening). But since I had to take out the trash, I had no choice. I got on the train with a shit feeling in my stomach. When I got to the place, she wasn’t there yet (she was still on the train). So I took out the trash and settled in while she arrived. I asked if she was ready to talk or if she needed to get settled first, and she said, “I’ll get settled first, and then I’m ready to talk”. So I waited.

Suddenly, she starts setting up the living room for the housewarming. So I was like: “Are we going to talk this out?”. She wasn't answering and looked obviously frustrated. So I said, “Roommate, we both don't want to be mad at each other, let's talk this out”. She looked at me, and a whole word vomit came out her mouth about all the little frustrations she had been suppressing over the past few weeks.

I just let her say everything that was on her mind, and what she needed to say, to calm down. Because I knew that if I started answering any of the accusations about all the wrong things I did (according to her) over the past weeks, while she was talking to me about them, she would just get mad at any answer I’d give.

What a hassle this all is just because
she's lowkey just bad at communication 

Her frustrations were mostly just about me forgetting certain things. Which is because of my ADD and extremely busy school and work schedule. And that isn't an excuse, I understand her frustration, of course, but it is something that we are both still figuring out on how to handle. Because the thing is that she also has ADD and (a lot of) forgetfulness. So we just need to find a system that works for us (since we only really live together since the beginning of October).

After my roommate calmed down, we talked. And I let her know all the reasons I was so forgetful over the past weeks, which, next to all the usual things, also included more personal family matters that I don’t like to talk about a lot. So she didn't know about them. I let her know that I understood her frustrations, but that it is just something we have to get through to find a system that works for the both of us.

Then we started talking about the housewarming matter. She said she had already made her peace with the 1am mark at this point (which I hoped would happen, because I knew that she would think it even more lame to cancel the housewarming last minute). She did want to let me know that she finds it hard to send people away, so that I’d have to help her with that. Which I understood. I still had my doubts about how much effort she would make when it actually came to sending people away, but whatever, I was glad that we would actually finish the whole thing at 1am, and not just let it go on until whenever.

Lesson learned (I guess??)

When we came to the end of what was now a chill and okay conversation, she started talking about her Halloween costume and stuff. Everything was back to normal. 

But let me tell you, that was one hell of a ride.

I made sure that in the future, if she wanted to plan any kind of party, she’d just have to let me know in advance, so I could make plans to sleep at my parents' house for a night, you know?

I don’t want to be the one that limits her party girl life! I wish I could live that life, but I just don’t have enough energy and time for that! We just have to communicate about it, so we can both feel comfortable around each other. And that’s also what we agreed to do in the future. Also because I do not want her to secretly scheme anymore. Cause that is so annoying and childish. Did I mention she is an only child? Not saying that every only child is like this, but my god, my roommate is definitely a special case. Luckily, I am patient, but not a people pleaser. So I hold my ground, and will keep doing that! LOL

Anyways, this was the whole housewarming drama! Hope you enjoyed reading about itttt. I'll be talking about the housewarming itself in another, emotionally lighter post :pp

If you have any thoughts, please let me know in the comments!! I am desperate to hear from you guys <3 Alrighty, that's it!

Kisses, Admirable Daughter

Me monday morning, and the housewarming hadn't even happend yet

Apartment diaries ☆ #2

Hi Babes!!! I'm finally back, with an apartment update!!

Since I moved in and school started, I've been so so so busy!! Its absolutely crazy! I'll tell you guys more about that in another blogpost! ☆ I've fully settled in + me and my roommate also had a housewarming! Even tho we had some disagreements about the whole thing, it was a whole drama but whatever (I'll talk more about that in another post too), the housewarming itself was so fun! There were like 40 people or something, I felt so cool, especially to my friends from my hometown that visited!!

Closet and Bed

I will only show you guys my bedroom for now, since I also posted it on pinterest and stuff, people are welcome to see it :pp I'm still a bit too scared to post the rest of the apartment cause I don't really want people I know to find this bloggg!!! Anyways!! Let's get into talking about and showing my bedroom hihi!

I found, as I told you guys in another post a absolutely gorgeous closet where I can put folded and hanged clothing in!!! And it has a full length mirror as you can see in the photo on the left! When we got to the apartment, it already had those clothing rack hangers hanging on the door, so I just put one of my scarves on them and some of my bags!! I also hung lace curtains on all my windows just because I can :p And I have a bedskirt!! I'm super excited about that cause it looks so pretty and my extra mattresses (for if I have a sleepover ofc) aren't visible so it doesn't look super messy! Also, when I sit on my bed I can take pretty pictures in the mirror of my closet hihi (Selfie from when I still had my blonde hair, I dyed it redish-brown a like a week ago). Next to my bed, I have a nightstand with my small Tiffany lamp, record player, and my Marie Antoinette melatonin pills box :p. I’m not at my apartment right now, and I don’t have a good photo of my nightstand, so I’ll save that for another time!! Next to it I have one of those open small ikea storage BILLY bookcases, where I just stored my books, music equipment, and schoolstuff. On top of it I placed my fav art/fashion books and my nailpolish-starshaped-box!! That's lowk it for that area. Now, onto my desk and vanityyyy!!! ☆☆

Vanity and Desk

If I'm honest, I don't really have a lot to say about my vanity. It's where I put on my makeup and where I store my jewelry! I love hanging my necklaces on my candleholder, I've been doing that for a few years now. 

How I used my candleholder
before moving

The mirror I put on the radio cabinet, now used as vanity (which btw works with a bluetooth cable!!), is inherited from my grandma! R.i.p Icon. Almost everything in these pictures, we already had laying around the house or in my bedroom. Only the closet and the (ugly white and therefore hidden under my bedskirt) ikea bedframe are new! I love my desk, it opens and closes. At the moment I only have one chai,  and knowing myself, it will take a long time before I have another one to permanently use for my vanity, so for the time being, I just move my chair in front of wherever I need it to be. I added a small collage on my wall with posters I got in Rome and Paris, postcards I got in various museums from Barcelona, Stockholm, London, Berlin, some cute photobooth pictures with my friends, mom, dad, little sister, and my grandma (the one whose still alive, she's my bestie, ugh love her) and some polaroid pictures I took of my crew/classmates/friends when we were filming one of my shortfilms for school!! 

My wall collage <3

I plan to use my desk mostly for catching up on my theory class (cultural studies) which I skip on Monday. The teacher really talks a lot and repeats herself so much during her lessons, and I'm just a little faster in processing information. So I use my time on monday in a more productive way like working on my scripts or other film-related schoolwork, which takes up sm of my time!!! I also really want to use my desk for writing letters to my penpals, and my grandma!!! She loves it when I write her letters, but really procrastinates on sending any of her own to me lol #Real. So I just sent her letters, and she answers them in person when we call, I visit her, or when we see each other at family events :p Since I am so busy with school (most days I leave the apartment at 9am and get home around 6.30pm), I haven't gotten the time and most of all. energy, to write any letters, but I really want to get back to doing it!! Anyways, this is turning into a lifestyle blogpost!! I should get back to writing about my room :)

Soooooo, 

This was all that I can show you today! Its pretty minimalistic in some ways, but also not soulless you know? So I am happy with the space right now! The only thing I still really want to add is a big selfmade painting above my bed. But since I haven't had any time, and school is only getting busier, that will have to wait until January I thinkkkk ☆ If I take any more / better pictures of my room I'll post ofcourse!! 

I think thats it for this post! Hope you enjoyed reading it <3 Oh and please write down your thoughts in the comments!!! I'm desperate to have some interaction in my comment sections hihi, I want to interact with you guys!! Not just through a chatboxxxx, but in the commentssss!!

Alrighty, that's it!! 

Kisses, Admirable Daughter

Me at my housewarming :p

Apartment diaries ☆ #1

Hi! This is the first blog post of my apartment diaries! In this one I'll be talking about how I am planning to decorate my bedroom! I am so excited about it and have lots of plans!

The vibes aka Lighting

I really want my bedroom to have a calm, cozy, and cool vibe! To achieve this I think I'll be using lots of warm lighting like a small tiffany lamp and maybe some fairy lights? My parents also gifted me a gorgeous ceiling lamp that will look super pretty in my new bedroom! I also have an Ikea Fado Lamp, but I don't know if it really fits the aesthetic I am going for? And I won't have a nightlamp when I'm home during the weekend or if I have to work (since my work is in my hometown)

I may also add some candles (since that also feels more free when it comes to my electricity bill) and this isn't directly related to light, but I really want to add my lace curtains (that I currently use as wall decorations) in front of my two windows. I'll look so cute and cozy in the evening and the morning and lowkey every moment of the day!!!

The Furniture

Okay so, for furniture I was thinking going full wood! Or at least as much as I can when it comes to the pieces I already have! We recently bought a new closet from marketplace (we still have to pick it up lol) but I am absolutely in Love with it!! I mean look at how gorgeous it is! The rest of the pictures I put here were taken from pinterest but are pretty close to what I already have or what my vision is. For example: I really want pink silk bedsheets or at least some kind of bedsheet that reflects the light a little, so theres a soft shine all over my bedroom, and above my bed I would love to hang a painting, probably made by me. Not like I am some kind of professional painter, but with my budget, I can't really buy a big painting r sumn, so I'll just make it myself! I also got a bedskirt to put over my white Ikea bed frame! So it hides the two mattresses that I'll slide under my bed if my friends or classmates come visit! 

As vanity, I'll be using a vintage radio cabinet that my parents got when they were younger. Right now its standing in the living room, but since the living room is a little packed when it comes to furniture, I am allowed to take this one with me to my new apartment and use it as a vanity! On top of it I will be placing the golden mirror that I inherited from my grandma! I love it so much and it fits so well with the theme I am going for! As beside table Ill probably use a vintage bedlinen trunk that I can also steal away from our living room! Ill probably put my little tifanny lamp on it! That'll be so cozy!  Last but not least I have my desk. Now here is where I am still deciding which one to take with me. I currently can choose from two options. Both wood so thats not a problem, the problem is that the one is more practical, but the other one is super duper gorgeous! Since I am a filmstudent, I use my desk a lot for editing. And I recently inherited a second monitor from my uncle which I can attach to my laptop, so I have two screens to work on! The problem is that that combination does not fit on my small (but gorgeous) desk, while it dus fit on my bigger (but more boring) desk. Or at least I havent tried putting it on the small desk, but my hopes lowkey aren't high that it fits on my small desk.  I do have the space to fit a big desk, its just the question if I want it there or not. So I am still deciding on that! Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments!

Extra's

Ofcourse I also had to add a little "extra's" section! Cause I just wanted to mention some fun things that I'll definitely be taking with me! For example, since I am a film student at the end of the day, I will be taking my dvd collection with me :pp But also my favorite fashion photography magazine called "Mirror Mirror" and ofcourse my Sofia Coppola and Vivienne Westwood books! We have a big book collection downstairs, and I was allowed to select some books to take with me jippie! So now I can also add more art books to my collection! Furthermore I have some literature books that I am also taking to my new apartment! Lots of different books as u can read lol. I also have a Françoise Hardy poster (French singer, check her out if you dont know her!  

And other posters like Amélie Poulain, Audrey Hepburn, Punk images, Art prints. Also my two guitars! (Electric & acoustic) and so much more!!!

Soooo...

These are all the plans I have for now! I'll be updating you guys in a new blogpost if anything gets added or changed!!! You can find these specific blogs if you click on the "Apartment diaries ☆" label down below!! If you have any thoughts or suggestions about the desk situation, or anything else in my bedroom, let me know in the comments!! I'll be packing my stuff the next few days, while I am still recovering from my wisdom teeth removal, so I'll probably be less active than before. But when I am settled in, Ill be updating more!! I am super excited to share this journey with you guys! 
Kisses, Admirable Daughter

Recent journal pages!

One thing that I love to do, and that I have been doing since I was 7, is journaling. Whether its using my journal as a diary or as a planner, as a scrapbook or a notebook, journaling has been by my side for as long as I can remember! Therefore I thought Id start posting some of my fun journal spreads on here! 

About a week ago I made three pages in my journal, writing about how I am moving to a new city, and starting this blog!! I was inspired by a dutch youtuber named "creachick" who had a blog a loonggg time ago! And she shared her pages on her blog! I thought, since she doesn't post blogs anymore, maybe I should! So here I am :pp

Having my wisdom teeth removed made me realize something

Heyyy, today is the third day of me laying in bed with icepacks around my face. Because, as you can read in the title of this blogpost, I got all of my 4 wisdom teeth removed. 

It was the first time ever that I went under anesthesia and let me tell you, it was an interesting experience. The process of going under anesthesia wasn't fun, but when I woke up, it was like my hidden self came into existence. And by that I mean that I was yapping all over the place. Like I did not stop talking to the random nurses that came to help me and move me around the hospital. 

I legit searched "wisdom teeth aesthetic"
on Pinterest to find this picture lol

I have to let you know that I don't drink alcohol, so its unusual for me to not be my sober-self. That is why this was such an eye-opening experience to me! You see, by nature I am a pretty down-to-earth but also sometimes anxious person when it comes to communicating with people I don't know.  So for me to hear myself talking to random people about so many random things, was a really silly experience. 
It mostly let me see that I am capable of holding down a random conversation with someone I don't know. And that is a really nice thing to know about myself. I just have to figure out how to get to that level of comfortability without the use of anesthesia or alcohol lol. But I think I can get there! Being under anesthesia just showed me that that version of me exists, and now I have to try to get that version of myself into permanent reality!
Let me know about you guys' thoughts or experiences with anesthesia! Or if you have any questions about the procedure :pp 
Kisses! Admirable Daughter